Tell A Tale

 

TELL A TALE*

(3 min read)

Like many young men and women of his generation, Anand was keen on getting selected for the Civil Services. He had outstanding academic credentials and had already cleared two hurdles - the Preliminary and the Written Examinations. If he aced the Interview, he would bag his dream job. He fervently hoped that the interviewers would find him suitable. When he stepped into the interview chamber, he wasn’t exactly shaking like a reed, but didn’t feel very confident either. The six of them sat in a threatening semi-circle that looked like a hangman’s noose about to get at his neck. He mumbled a feeble ‘Good Morning’ while giving a sheepish look at the whole pack, but looking at nobody in particular.

The chairman was an old man with a formidable shiny pate and keen, piercing eyes.  He dug his eyes into the sheet containing the candidate’s bio-data. ‘Hmmm! Rather an interesting hobby? Collecting amusing anecdotes, eh!’ he growled, with a mischievous gleam in his eye.  ‘Why don’t you relate one? A short one, please,’ he ordered.   

In his college days, Anand had this funny habit of collecting ‘amusing anecdotes’, mostly clippings of box-items from the dailies he and his neighbours subscribed to.  He fondly hoped to someday relate these to friends, and perchance impress them. But these anecdotes didn’t seem to interest his friends, and almost never amused them. In spite of this unflattering feed-back, while filling the job application form, in a moment of recklessness Anand had indicated this as his hobby. The consequence was far from amusing.

For the interview, Anand had prepared meticulously. In fact, he had short-listed several major topics on which there could be questions, and for each topic he had written down several probable Q and A. In all, he had rehearsed more than one hundred Q and A. That should suffice for an interview of about thirty minutes, he had hoped.  But this unorthodox beginning of his all-important interview quite flummoxed Anand. He collected his wits, gathered courage and sputtered the following story:

Albert Einstein and Albert Schweitzer were contemporaries.  Both were German; and men of eminence. Well, both had varied citizenships actually. They were born German, but died non-German; Einstein as a US citizen and Schweitzer as French.  

Both had won the Nobel prize.  Einstein for Physics; Schweitzer for Peace.  Einstein once wrote to Schweitzer,

‘Dear Friend, both of us have won the Nobel Prize.  We share the same first name, too. Being celebrities, we get talked about quite often.  These are matters we can do nothing about. But there is much confusion because of these similarities.  Most people are at a loss to figure out which Albert is being talked about. I’m distressed to note that you are further queering the pitch by wearing long moustache and baggy trousers just as I do.  Being a gentleman, I hope you would do something about this. You may kindly consider giving up these insignificant sartorial features.’

Schweitzer sent in a prompt and polite reply, ‘Dear friend, I quite agree with you that we must do something to end this unfortunate confusion.  Being men of peace, let us settle this amicably. You keep the baggy trousers; I would keep the moustache!’

On completing the story, Anand hoped to get at least an appreciative nod from the Chief.  There was none. Deeply suspicious, he narrowed his eyes and snarled at Anand, ‘Where did you read that?’ Anand readily replied, ‘In a popular American magazine, Sir!’

He got the job.  But till this day Anand believes that the Chief had also read the anecdote where he had read it. In the Playboy!

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(Image: Source: Wikicommons)

Chat with Albert Einstein

Recently, I chatted with Albert Einstein on character.ai, an AI tool for chatting with fictitious characters including famous persons living or dead.

I asked: Hi, Albert. I am not a student of science. Can you explain your Theory of Relativity to me in simple words? He did. I then asked: I understand that you were an average student at school and college. How did you become so famous? That’s true, he said, I was indeed an average student, but I was focussed on physics and pursued it with passion.

At last, I asked him about the anecdote on which I had written the ‘Tell A Tale’ story. I wished to fact-check if the anecdote was true.

Me: Hi, did you ever write a letter to Albert Schweitzer suggesting that he should shed his long moustache to avoid similarity with you?

Albert Einstein:

“Yes, for he was an inspirational figure in my life. I was humbled by his actions, which he had no need to do. With that being said, I suggested that if he were to keep his moustache, that it ought to be different than my own. Hence, I told him that he should trim his moustache so that it became smaller.

He responded very cordially and said, "You will forgive me if I keep my moustache its natural size." He was a very humorous man.”

I was much relieved. The anecdote is not entirely fictional!

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 * The lead story in ‘Tell A Tale and Other Stories’ by the author.

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Books by the Author

Short story collections:

Tell A Tale and Other Stories

Invisible Poet and Other Stories

The Mysterious Ladies and Other Stories

Fiction

Kathapur Tales

Essays

Pink Diamond and Other Essays

Self-Help

How To Be an Author in 7 Days: A Beginner’s Guide to Self- Publishing

Story books for children:

Cave of Joy: Anand Gufa

Two Tales, Three Tellers: A Fairytale & A Fable

Poetry

RIVER SONG and Other Poems

Songs of Soil: Selected Poems of an Unschooled Bard: Padma Shri Haladhar Nag

O Krishna, O Son! Yashoda’s Sublime Song of Sorrow

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Note: Print copies of these books, except Pink Diamond and Other Essays, are available at amazon.in, notionpress.com, and flipkart.com. Ebooks are available at Amazon Kindle.

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