Monkeys Banished From Delhi!

 

Monkeys Banished From Delhi!

Monkeys and Dogs cannot be allowed to take over this city! The High Court of Delhi made this observation while passing orders on a PIL regarding the menace of stray animals in Delhi[i]. Of course, no pun was intended. HC’s order may have been based on personal experience. After 4.00 pm, the Tis Hazari Court complex is reportedly taken over by the monkeys.

HC ordered that the monkeys be shifted to Asola Bhatti Wildlife Sanctuary. No order was made regarding the stray dogs possibly because of their uncertain identity - neither wild nor domesticated; not acceptable to the forest authorities for fear of jeopardising wildlife health, nor to the citizens of Delhi. Their fate hangs in balance.


(Monkey in Delhi; Source: Wikicommons)

A Limerick

For stray animals, we’ve pity,

But won’t allow monkeys and dogs to takeover this city;

At once shift the monkeys,

To Asola Bhatti Wildlife Sanctuary;

Orders regarding canines will follow, after ascertaining their identity.

Bureaucrat Reborn[ii]

Amartya Sen, the Nobel laureate, had a gentle dig at himself and his fellow economists when he quipped, ‘As a Hindu, if you are a good economist in this life, you come back in the next as a physicist. If you are a bad economist in this life, you come back in the next as a sociologist.’

What happens to the bureaucrats in their next life? A good bureaucrat is reborn as a politician, and a bad bureaucrat returns as an ordinary citizen, you might think. But like everything else in bureaucracy, that arrangement would be complex and challenging like a maze. Each bureaucrat is evaluated every year and is given a Grade- Good, Very Good or Outstanding; ‘Good’ being a euphemism for ‘Good for nothing’, ‘VG’ for ‘Very Good occasionally’, and ‘Outstanding’ for those rare ones who stand out of the herd owing to their halo visible only to the cognoscenti. So, a ‘good’ bureaucrat may be reborn a politician but as a block level functionary responsible for hiring services of a tent-house for free; a VG bureaucrat could be an MLA but never a Minister; and only the ‘outstanding’ ones may hope to be Ministers!

However, a few privileged ones may choose their next life, notwithstanding their conduct, credentials, and performance track-record; and the reference is not to post-superannuation plum jobs.

A retired bureaucrat who was also a most devout person saw a dream prior to his demise. God appeared in his dream and said, ‘You have been my loyal devotee all your life to reward which I will grant your last wish before your death.’

The wizened civil servant thought well but fast, and drawing upon his vast experience in preparing proposals and notes for sanction and approval, made a quick mental draft, and several rapid corrections to the draft. He would never approve a draft, including one prepared by himself, without marking in red at several places, and making necessary corrections.

God knew the modus operandi of his devout follower and waited patiently. RB (Retired Bureaucrat) finally made his wish: ‘Bless me, O Lord, so that I may once again, in my next birth, stride through the corridors of power, preferably in North Block, or at South Block (my 2nd preference), or at least in Udyog Bhavan or Nirman Bhavan or Krishi Bhavan (in that order, please), be in proximity to the high and the mighty, and enjoy the heady, invigorating aroma of stuffy rooms and musty files.’

‘Tathastu,’ said God, and vanished. RB had forgotten to wish to be born human, and for this inadvertent but critical omission, was born as a monkey and placed at North Block where he would meet several of his erstwhile colleagues who had made similar wishes and had been blessed by the Lord.

***

Postscript

A reader mentioned that about a decade ago, under a similar court order monkeys had been shifted to Kuno Sanctuary (now a National Park) in MP. I spoke to Mr Suhas Kumar, Former PCCF and Wild Life expert. He confirmed this. Under a SC order in 2011 or thereabouts, 250 monkeys had been shifted from Delhi to Kuno, over-ruling objections by MP Forest dept and govt. These monkeys foraged for food and water and created havoc in the neighbouring villages leading to a barrage of Assemby Questions every year. A proposal to shift more monkeys to Kuno was vehemently opposed by MP govt, and the SC was persuaded by Mr Negi, the-then Project Director of Kuno Sanctuary's strong arguments to rescind the orders.
Thereafter, a batch of monkeys was shifted to Asola Wild Life Sanctuary. It is not known how the shifted monkeys acclimatized to their new habitat.

How many monkeys in Delhi?

It is estimated that there are 20000-30000 monkeys at present in Delhi, but it is not known when a census was held, so, this might be a guesstimate. The question HC of Delhi does not seem to have considered is: Does Asola Wild Life Sanctuary have the carrying capacity for the several thousand monkeys of Delhi?
An adhoc order - a typical NIMBY (Not In My Backyard) response, and its implementation would be a disaster.

[ii] This story is from The Mysterious Stories and Other Stories (2021) by the blogger.

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