Patent Shave

Odia readers are familiar with ‘Patent Medicine,’ the classic short-story by Fakir Mohan Senapati. The title of this blog might be influenced by that famous story; but there is no trauma, only a little drama in this blog.

Risqué Touch

In 2012, a dear colleague and friend, and I were both posted at Mantralaya (Secretariat), Vallabh Bhawan, Bhopal. He was in Room 211, and I in 311, just above his room. We used to drop into each other’s room several times a week for a chat over a cup of tea. One afternoon, when he came over, I was finishing a file, so he took the chair in front of my table.

‘How come your cheek is so smooth?’ he asked.

‘Come again, what about my cheek?’ I asked. I thought I hadn’t heard him properly.

‘Your cheek is so smooth. Mind if I touch it?’ he asked.

Though a bit startled, I said, ‘You’re welcome,’ upon which he stood up, came near me, and indeed touched my cheek. Satisfied, he went back to his chair.

‘How do you do it? What face cream do you use?’ he asked.

‘Maybe, my aloe-vera shave has something to do with it,’ I said and explained the modus operandi for my daily shave.

Back at home, I narrated the little ‘incident’ to spouse. Her sardonic comment was: Best for you guys to remain ‘Dost’ and not proceed to ‘Dostana’!

She had seen the Bollywood film, I hadn’t; but I had read a review and knew the plot.

Aloe vera Shave

Yes, since 2012, I have shaved daily with a piece of aloe vera as my shaving gel. It all began when I bought the newest razor-blade, an expensive product of a major global company in the business of grooming for men and women for more than 100 years. It had an ‘aloe vera’ strip for a super smooth shave. I had an idea. If a tiny strip of aloe vera could enhance the shaving quality and experience, how about trying the real stuff? I went out to the terrace, plucked a stick from the aloe vera pot, and had my first aloe vera shave – organic, chemical-free, and cost-free. I got a shave as good as my regular shave with the stuff from the market – shaving foam, razor-blade with an aloe vera strip, and after-shave gel or liquid.

Thereafter, I haven’t bought any shaving foam or gel or aftershave lotion, except to keep a set in the guest room bath.

What is aloe vera?

Aloe is a genus of more than 500 species of shrubby succulent plants in the family Asphodelaceae. It is called ghrit kumari in Sanskrit, gawarpatha in Hindi, and ghee kuwanri in Odia. Ayurveda uses its juice as a laxative, and the gel for burn and other skin injuries. The market is now flooded with a large range of aloe vera products from juice to gel to cosmetics.

DIY (Do It Yourself) Manual

It’s really easy. Just follow these simple steps:

Step 1: Keep a pot of aloe vera at home, very easy to maintain.

Step 2: Harvest an aloe vera stick. It’s good for 2 to 3 shaves.

Step 3: Cut 2-3 rectangular pieces, remove the thorny edges, and open to expose the gel.

Step 4: Wet your face, and apply the gel liberally on your stubble.

Step 5: Enjoy a smooth, cool shave.

Step 6: Take another piece of aloe vera and apply the gel as an aftershave lotion to have an uber cool moisturisation.

Step 7: Remit INR 100 to the Inventor (Patent Application is being filed shortly). Satisfaction Guaranteed. Full refund for dissatisfied customers in 21 days, No Question Asked!

Shine with DASH

(For Ladies, Women and Girls)

DIY Manual

·       Apply the gel on legs and arms, and follow procedure detailed above for shaving.

·       For Super-Shining face, apply gel liberally.

·       Wait for 10 mins.

·       Splash cold water to clean.

·       Do it for a Week.

·       Silky Soft Shiny Wrinkle-free face! May also do it 10 minutes before getting ready for a Party. Bound to receive many admiring looks from men and envious queries from your sahelis about the miracle cosmetic you use.

·       Remit INR 200 to the Inventor (Patent Application is being filed shortly). Satisfaction Guaranteed. Full refund for dissatisfied customers in 21 days, No Question Asked!

Warning

This author asserts his Copyright for this Document and further asserts that the methods and procedures detailed above constitute his invention. He is working on his Application for Registration of Trade Mark for ShaShiSa (Shave, Shine n Save), and for Patent on this Organic, Chemical-Free, Natural, and Environment-Friendly Shaving Method for the 21^st Century and beyond.

The readers may use this method for their personal grooming, but neither the readers nor any other person or Company, including all major companies currently in the shaving business, are permitted to use the methodology and technology. Legal action will be taken against those who violate the TM, Patent, and IPR of this inventor, and are liable to pay such damages as the Competent Courts may deem fit to Award.  The Inventor is agreeable to Out of Court Settlement subject to the terms of Offer being acceptable to him. All litigation will be under jurisdiction of Courts of India, and Payment of Compensation or Damage must be made in INR.

NB: If any Company is desirous of buying the Technology & Procedure from the Inventor, they are free to contact him during 11:00-13:00 Hours (IST) by email/WhatsApp/sms only (No calls, please!)

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Annexe

Facts and Statistics

·       Women spend 72 days shaving their legs over the course of a lifetime - approximately 1,728 hours.

·       Men spend 45 days shaving their beard and neck or 1,080 hours over their lifetime!

·       Size of the global men’s grooming market - $ 60.6 bn

·       Average annual expenditure on shaving needs per consumer in the US -$ 12.95

Chemicals in Grooming Products

The details provided below pertain to products which were readily available at the blogger’s home. If the reader uses a different brand and product, she/he may notice that the ingredients are similar.

Gillette Lemon Lime Shaving Foam- Ingredients:

On the can, I found listed 12 ingredients of which 11 are chemicals, some of which are toxic chemicals, the details of which can be found from #SDS (Safety Data Sheets) sourced from reputed agencies.

1.Water 2. Triethanolamine 3. Palmitic Acid 4. Stearic Acid 5. Butane 6. Laureth-23.  7. Isobutane 8. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate 8. Propane 9. *Fragrance 10. Limonene 11. BHT 12. Linalool

*Most of the products labelled ‘Fragrance or parfum’ use 10 or more chemicals known to be toxic and hazardous. If a cosmetic is marketed on a retail basis to consumers, it must have a list of ingredients. In most cases, each ingredient must be listed individually.  But under U.S. regulations, fragrance and flavor ingredients can be listed simply as “Fragrance” or “Flavor.”

#A Safety Data Sheet (formerly called Material Safety Data Sheet) is a detailed informational document prepared by the manufacturer or importer of a hazardous chemical. It describes the physical and chemical properties of the product. SDSs contain useful information such as toxicity, flash point, procedures for spills and leaks, storage guidelines, and exposure control.

Fusion ProGlide razor-blade

“The lubrication strip on your Gillette razor, found above the blades in your cartridge, can be compared to a small sponge.

The strip holds a formula with water-loving polymers called Polyethylene Glycols (PEGs) which are released from the strip with each shaving stroke. When these polymers come into contact with water, they swell, unfold and stretch along your skin, adding lubrication to your shave.”

Sources

·       https://www.fda.gov/cosmetics/cosmetic-ingredients/fragrances-cosmetics

·       https://www.whatsinproducts.com/pages/database_search

·       Source: https://blink.ucsd.edu/safety/resources/SDS/index.html

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